San Jose, CA 10/31/16
Happy Helloween y’all, about 10% of the season has been played and I thought I’d check in on everyone and do a little analysis of what I’ve seen so far. First up East Coast and Conference: Pittsburgh leads the Metro by a hair over the Rump Rangers with the Ovechkins (Caps for those that don’t speaketh my lingoeth) one point behind.
In the Atlantic, the Habs are tearing it up in the early going, with no losses in regulation. The rest of the usual suspects, Bolts, Panthers and the Bruins are 8-10 points behind Montreal. The Dead Things and the Sens occupy the 2nd and 3rd slots but I expect that to change in the near future.
Out West, as the beautiful Kathryn Tappen likes to say,
Things are ducky for Connor McDavid and the Oil (1st place at 7-2), while not so Ducky for Randy Carlisle’s Anahymen. San Jose’s beloved Tiburones (Sp. for Sharks) and the Nucks round out the top three positions in the Pacific Division. In the Big Bad Central, the Wild have the top spot with St Louis and the Hawks one and two points behind respectively.
Two very talented and speedy teams that are perennially in the playoffs, Smashville and the Dallas Stars are bringing up the rear. Can’t see them staying on the bottom although the main reason I see for their current under performance is GOALTENDING! The Pekker for Nashville and the two headed monsters of mediocrity, Anti Niemi and Kari Letemin er Lehtonen are not holding up their end of the bargain.
Gotta go hand out some candy but before I do, I wanna say, the LA Kings are in for some deep trouble with G Jonathan Quick out til the New Year or later. In the ultra competitive Pacific Division, a team can’t afford to get off to a start like theirs (4-5) and think about making the playoffs.
Hey Kings, perhaps you can get some luck from the queen of Hockey broadcasting?