The Tank

Someone Left the Cup Out in The Rain.

Hey folks, here we are again in a do or die game for Los Tiburones.  Edmonton has pushed the Sharks to the brink of of the golf links and a long summer of what if.  Now that the sting (or stink) of the Game 5 OT loss has lessened slightly, I can face the fact that the younger, faster Oilers just might be moving on to play the Anahymen Ducks in round 2.

Not so fast you say?  I get that, what about the team that put up a touchdown on the slippery suckers from the Great White North?  Well, lets hope they show up today.  Get the lead early and score often.  That’s my strategy for forcing a Game 7.

Coach Todd McClellan knows the Sharks well and did a masterful job convincing his team to put their 7-0 loss in Game 4 behind them.  Oil Captain Connor  McDavid was a relentless force in Game 5 and his fellow Oil came at the Sharks with speed and skill, knocking them back on their heels, in spite of San Jose taking a 3-1 lead midway through the second period.

From that point on, Martin Jones was the Sharks best player, making 44 saves to keep them in the game as Edmonton continued to attack in waves.  Brent Burns cavalier attempt to clear the puck went over the glass for a delay of game penalty.  An ill advised penalty to say the least, and Edmonton made them pay scoring a PPG with 1:27 left in the second period, 3-2 Sharks.

San Jose tried to defend their lead in the 3rd period, and were 2:36 away from winning when the Oilers scored to tie it.  From that point on and into overtime, it was all Oily as they outshot the Sharks 14-2 in the extra period.  David (who) Desharnias scored the game winner at 18:14.

Now that I have purged my sick feeling (almost), by recounting the count of my despair (a 4-3 loss) after scoring 3 straight goals to take the lead,(maddening), what next San Jose?  Hey Coach Pete DeBoer, you got anything different to offset Edmonton’s speed?  Joe Thornton, will you cement your legacy as great but not good enough (again)?  Joe Pavelski, will you find your magic again?  Brent Burns, WTF?

Captain America needs to save the day.

Washington Capitals and the Toronto Maple Leafs might just be the most entertaining series of all 8 because of the Presidents Trophy winners Caps vs the upstart youngsters Leafs.  All games are close, the Caps can’t stop the Leafs offense but Toronto’s defense is shaky at best.  Perhaps its because they’re always up on the rush lol.  The series is tied 2-2, no one gave the Leafs a chance, let alone seeing them tied after four games.

The Anahymen Ducks become the first team to move on to the great 8 dispatching those pesky Calgary Flames in four straight.  Although Bianca hates the Fowl, she does respect the ownage the Ducks have on the Calgary franchise.  As in 29 straight home wins against the Flamers and defeating the Flames on their ice decisively.

I love to Dominate

Pittsburgh Penguins can advance tonight on home ice by closing out the Blow Jackets.  A plucky squad, garnering 106 points on the season, Columbus is well balanced on offense, getting great goaltending and has great young defensemen.  That all being said, lose tonight and yer out and the Defending Cup Champs move on.

Captain Serious heads for the locker room after a brutal hit.

Chicago is facing elimination tonight by the Smashville Predators, who are up 3-0 in their series.  The Hawks don’t appear to be ready to run the tables this year getting blown out once, losing a 1-0 game and choking with a lead late and losing in OT.  Preds too fast and  the Chicago defense is not engaged enough to keep up with the lil waterbugs Nashville uses as forwards.

Bianca is concerned about the Bruins.

Ottawa is leading 3-1 in their divisonal series, and the Bruins are way banged up

Bianca is concerned by the rash of injuries in today’s NHL.

Look for Ottawa to swarm Tuuka Rask and end Boston’s season in their next game.

Next up, a vastly entertaining series featuring two of the premier goalies in the NHL, Carey Price for the Habs and the King Henrik Lundquist for New York.  Hard fought, low scoring and tied at 2 games to 2.  The series returns to Montreal tonight, who will come out with the pivotal win to go up 3-2?  Tough to say as both teams have great offensive fire power, but I give the edge to New York.  To say that the goalies are gonna make a huge difference is a HUGE understatement because each one has stolen a game.

Bianca distracts the shooter.

The Minnesota Wild staved off elimination last night by defeating St Louis last night, bring that series to 3-1 for the Blues.  Can the Wild go Girls Gone Wild on the Bitch Blues and win in Seven?  Unlikely, but as Shark fans know it can be done.

San Jose/Edmonton is a puzzler because of the wild mood swings exhibited through four games.  San Jose dominated the first game in Edmonton, with the OIL taking games 2 and 3 by stifling the Sharks on their anemic power play and scoring 2 Shorthanded goals for further gagability.  In Game 4 the Sharks shit down their neck, scoring 4 PP goals and winning by a Touchdown 7-0.  It was the first time in recent memory that San Jose made an opponent pay for bitch play.

The Head little bitch is Connor McDavid, who after Game 4 looked like he was going to cry.  San Jose has done well to limit his chances but he is Sofa King Dangerous that the Sharks have to stick to him like skidrow undies.

Sharks celebration!

Yes I’m a homer and proud to be a long suffering fan.  Please end my suffering, find your game and dispatch these lil pretenders in blue, the Edmonton Oilslick.

Edmonton, AL

Zack Kassian destroys the Sharks in Game 2.

Welcome to the Stanley Cup playoffs, where unlikely heroes are made daily.  Little known forward Zack Kassian, noted goon and marginally talented fourth line winger was a force on Friday night, almost single handedly beating San Jose in Game Two of this opening round.

If he wasn’t leveling Sharks players, he was scoring on a shorthanded goal that was the difference in a hard fought but frustrating game for the Sharks.  San Jose had no answer (as usual) to heightened, hard nosed playoff checking and was not able to match the intensity of the younger, faster and more talented Oilers.

Edmonton took a page from past years playoff series where the opposing team beats on the Sharks and then dares San Jose to beat them on the power play.  San Jose was 0 fer 6 with the man advantage, continuing to look out of sorts and befuddled by the Oilers penalty kill.

I don’t know if the directive comes down from on high or if San Jose doesn’t like to fight back when there are OBVIOUS transgressions by their opponents, but as a lifer Sharks fan I can tell you it happens way too often.  The aforementioned Kassian left his feet to knock down Logan Couture.  This is charging, no call by the refs and NO response from his teammates coming to his defense.

The refs gave San Jose plenty of chances and they were unable to make Edmonton pay.  The Oilers will continue to play on the edge and push the envelope, as San Jose’s wretched power play fizzles.

As the Connor McDavid era opens to much fanfare, the darling of the NHL, scoring champion and game changer is a major force in every game and has burned the Sharks multiple times in the regular season.  Last night was no different as he scored the Oiler’s second shorthanded goal of the game in the 3rd period, effectively icing the game for Edmonton.

Yes, that’s right, 6 chances to score on the man advantage and TWO goals for the other team.  Shameless?  Yes.  Frustrating?  Obviously.  Where was the team from Wednesday that outhit, outskated and outplayed the Oilers in Game 1?

Nowhere to be found.

Game 3 on Sunday night.  Sack up San Jose, play Michael Haley to give the Sharks a little jam and allow for a response to the physicality of the Oilers.  Or better yet, how about a response from the Sharks leaders and pop Connor McDavid in the mouth?

I’m not advocating deliberately injuring a player, but do SOMETHING FUCKED UP back to the team that is bullying you.  That’s how you win Cups. After all, isn’t that the point?

Jim Carrey’s hockey alter ego.

Edmonton, AL

Teams hanging by a thread to a playoff spot

The Pacific Division race is closer than ever before, with three teams separated by two points.  Thats right, Anahymen is leading with 95 points, Edmonton and San Jose have 93, and the Oil and Sharks play tonight at Rogers Arena.  Calgary Flames, despite losing to the LA Queens last night remain 3 points behind with 90 points.

Thats a pointy paragraph but a necessary one to illustrate the parity in talent and the monstrously large importance of the last six games.  After 76 games, only two points separate three teams.  Staggering.  Allow me to distract.

She shoots she scores!!!

Connor McDavid of the Oilers is the driving force of this dangerous Edmonton team but they aren’t a one trick pony by any means.  Very good goaltending from Cam Talbot, an upgraded defense that has gained a nastiness with the addition of Darnell Nurse (yes that’s really his name) and Adam Larsen who was acquired in a trade for Taylor Hall.  Three lines that can score, almost all # 1 draft choices, BTW.

Bianca nurses your affliction.

I digress, the Ducks led by Randy Carlyle are leading the Pacific Division despite having 34 losses including 11 in OT.  Ryan Getzlaf, Ryan Kessler and a very good young mobile defense are a big reason the Ducks have hung around in the standings.  One must remember that Anahymen has lost four straight game sevens in the playoffs at HOME!  Yes I take solace from that.

Calgary, a fast skilled team led by Johnny Hockey, Sean Monaghan, TJ Brodie and Dougie Hamilton.  I think some of these guys don’t even shave yet, they’re so young.  But led by veteran goalie Brian Elliot, they are dangerous and right behind the three leaders in the Pacific, trailing San Jose and Edmonton by only three points.

That brings me to the Kings who are 11 points behind with six games to play.  No Jonathan Quick for 3/4 of the season probably doomed them to finish out of the playoff picture, but there are also other reasons they only have 79 points after 76.  They can’t score and lose a lot of games 2-1.  Their role players that carried them to 2 Cups are either retired, ineffective or were traded because they were making too much $.

San Jose?  Will the real Sharks stand up and fight back?  Yes I know they are good, but have sucked badly in the last 10 going 3-7 including a six game losing streak.  While they weren’t getting blown out initially, losing 4 by one goal and scoring 2 or less in every loss, the roof fell in last weekend.  Losing to the Dallas Stars 6-1 and Nashville 7-2 exposed their lack of grit IMHO and is a concern going forward.  Coach DeBoer preaches discipline and they are one of the least penalized teams in the NHL.

Show some sack San Jose, Sharks still sublime yet running out of time.

Putting on the Foil

Shark Head

Detroit is gonna make the playoffs for the 26th year straight.  The LA Kings added the last piece to the puzzle when they traded for Ben Bishop.  Mike Yeo will take the Blues where Hitchcock couldn’t.  Arizona could win the Cup next year.

Alternative facts, a termed coined by supporters of the Orange President are now part of our lives.  Depending on which side of the Internet you sit on can determine what you believe to be true.  Pretty darn sad isn’t it that well into the 21st Century you must check your sources and read more than just one point of view.  WTF happened to objective journalism?

You want straight up steamin piles of straight puck talk then this is your place! That whole first paragraph, while obviously a mixture of no way or just slightly above that is an illustration of teams brain trusts acting like they’re still in the mix.  For example, two weeks ago Boston fired their coach Claude Julien, because they were out of the playoffs.  You can’t fire 20 guys, so you fire the coach.  The team does better for a while, then usually returns to their level.

Montreal hired Claude Julien to coach Le Habs, because Michel Therrien was fired.  Le Habs were in first place when they axed him to leave!  Crazy stuff this 21st Century hockey management shit and I can’t pretend to understand.  As I ramble on stream of conscience, I have to point out that the Sharks are playing the Washington Capitals on Thursday and I have a ticket to see the Great 8.  So excited to see the best team in the East.

That is NOT alternative facts, they have 95 points with only 17 regulation losses.  The Caps have Braden Holtby, he of the sub 2.00 GAA. Make that 18. Ovechkin, Backstrom, Orpick, Kuznetzov were no match for the Sharks on Thursday night as the Sharks prevailed 4-2.  What an exciting game!  I was sitting in a row that literally had every seat filled with a red jersey wearing Caps fan.

They went home crying because San Jose played a complete game and Martin Jones outdueled his All Star counterpart to claim the victory.  Logan Couture was on fire, scoring 2 goals, Brent Burns had three points and was Norris-esque.  Joe Thornton actually scored a goal that wasn’t an empty netter and all the Sharks were better than their Caps counterparts.

BTW, the Sharks honored Joe Thornton for getting his 1000th assist against the Winnipeg Jets on Monday night.  After he scored his goal in the first period he added his 1000 and first assist to punctuate a fabulous night for Joe, his family and the La Familia Tiburones.

Just had to post this, hey its my birthday.

San Jose, CA

Patrick Marleau honored for joining the 500 goals club at the Tank.

Hey good morning all, thank God its over.  The mandatory break for the Sharks, and the rain and carnage too!  A shoutout to all the men and women who worked their asses off in the Nor Cal storms to keep your roads, power, phones and homes safe during the 100 year flood.

Now to the hockey stuff and there’s a  lot to get to.  Say what you want about Patrick Marleau, all I know is he’s joined an exclusive club, The 500 Goal Club.  Add to that 65 goals and 131 total points in the playoffs and I would say he qualifies for the Hall of Fame.

The ceremony at the Tank was a bit cheesy and then the Sharks put up a stinker, losing to the Panthers 6-5.  To be fair, they did come back in the 3rd period on some Captain America (Joe Pavelski) goals, ultimately losing to Jaromir Jagr and his mates in OT.

Faceoff at the Tank on Patty Marleau’s 500 night.

Since that night, the Sharks have retained their first place standing, but have lost some heartbreakers including Sunday night against Boston in OT when Brad Marchand scored on a beautiful breakaway beating Martin Jones 5 hole.  Actually, in the month of February they lost in OT to Arizona, Buffalo (particularly ugly after leading 4-1), Philly and then got smacked around in Boston losing 6-3.  All four teams currently OUT of the playoffs.

I digress, in other news there’s some great teams out there right now including the Caps, the Hawks, Minnesota and of course the Stanley Cup Champion Penguins.  When your team is on a break, watch other teams, get the whole smorgasbord, learn who to fear and who to call out as pretenders, Columbus, Anahymen, St Louis I’m talkin to youse.

Random observations from said perusal:  Connor McDavid is the real deal, leading the league in scoring with 69 points, Brent Burns in 3rd place at 64.  Washington Capitals are well balanced offensively, defensively and in goal, scary good.  Watching the Oilers vs Caps last night, thinkin that maybe the LA Queens are missing Justin William’s 19 goals and 35 points and are a worse team without him. In the West, Minnesota under C Bruce Boudreau are playing out of there minds, leading the Central with a +60 goal differential with the Hawks on their heels.

Patrick Kane’s hat trick against the Coyotes was nice to watch and as usual Chicago has an embarrassment of riches in the forward dept.  Sidney Crosby leading the league in goals, and G Matt Murray is repeating his domination from last year’s Cup win.  Toronto is in a playoff spot with all their amazingly skilled kids like Austin Matthews, Mitch Marner and a resurgent Nazim Kadri.  Is he Muslim?  I’ll sic the Hater in Chief on him.  Wait wait, he’s Canadian he’s safe.

Despicable.

Last quarter of the season left, 22 games to make their push, keep watching.  Its been another great season and we are trending towards an amazing playoff season.  Go Sharks!!

Sharkhead.

The Rock, New Jersey

Hey y’all Sharks in  free fall, lost 4 straight look who’s waitin, the low hanging fruit of a non playoff team, the New Jersey Devils.  The Sharks played Saturday morning in Philly, losing to the Flyers on a rare miscue by the presumptive Norris trophy winner Brent Burns.

Aaron Dell played his lil backup backside off to give San Jose a chance to win, but couldn’t survive the Wayne Train’s breakaway early in OT.  Goaltending wasn’t the problem on Saturday, this was:

Ref signals no goal after Patrick Marleau scores in the first period.

San Jose has been snakebit on several goals goals scored, only to be overturned after a coach’s challenge.  This latest was a weak call, prompting me to cry foul and swear at my TV set.  The worst ones are the offside challenges resulting in removing a goal from the scoreboard but that’s another column.

Pete DeBoer isn’t worried about the play of his team and was quoted after the game:

“We’ve lost three (of the past four) games in overtime or shootouts. Those are coin flips. I don’t feel we’re in a rut, no.“ — Sharks coach Peter DeBoer

Perhaps he’s putting a positive spin on extracting a point from a loss, but they left a point on the table up in Beefalo, up 4-1 in the third and gagging at the end losing in OT.  Two days later in B town they flat out stunk in a loss to the Bruins.

Today they play a Devils team currently sitting 16 points out of a play off spot in seventh place in they Metropolitan Division.  Will Los Tiburones play down to the caliber of their opponent?  Will Martin Jones regain the solid form he has displayed in his All Star season?  How about will they score some goals and give the fans a laugher or another squeaker?

It remains to be seen which team shows up, the first place one or their evil doppelganger, the Guppies.  Harsh?  Perhaps but its a big boy league and they’ll need their big boy pants today to come home with one win in four on the roadtrip.

Check out this goalie:

Bianca distracts the shooter.

I hear she’s easy to score on.

Capital of Canada

Brent Burns destroys Bobby Ryan with a hipcheck.

Last night the San Jose Sharks came up clutch in another thrilling game, winning in the shootout in the 4th round 4-3.  In a see saw battle against the Ottawads, the lead changed 6 times as the two teams showed no love for each other, combing for 71 PIMS including TWO game misconducts for the Sens.

In displaying little bitch behavior, Erik Karlson embarrassed himself in a scrum with Marc Eduard Vlasic, but it was F Mike Hoffman with the most heinous play in the 3rd period.  After Logan Couture finished his check on Hoffman, he went after Couture while his back was turned, cross checking him in the back of the head.  A defenseless Cooch went down and had to be helped to the dressing room. He would not return.

It was a yellow play, showcasing the ugly side of hockey, and the worst of it is that another crucial player for San Jose could be lost for some time.  I hope he gets 5 games from Garry Bettman and the Head of Payer Safety, Stephan Quintal.

The game was all sizzle in the second and third periods as the Sharks went up 2-1 on yet another sick highlight reel goal from Brent Burns.  Ottawa would tie it on a goal from Kyle Turris and then with 3:44 left Dion the Doof Phaneuf scored to salt away the game for the Sens.  Not so  fast, as the Sharks responded quickly, Tierney scoring on a beautiful feed from Burns at 17:32.

OT was a spirited affair with the teams trading multiple chances, both goalies playing outta their minds.  In the shootout, the Sharks wunderkind rookie Kevin LeBanc would fake Mike Condon out of his panties, tucking it five hole for the win.  I didn’t even go into detail about the apparent Sharks PP goal scored by Patrick Marleau. The call was overturned by the cursed Coaches challenge that the play was offsides.  I hate that challenge but that’s for another time.

Reilly Sleeping off a Big Day Watching Hockey,,zzz.

First Place baby!

Sharkland, CA

Bianca is concerned by the rash of injuries in today’s NHL.

Hey now, today’s column is gonna deal with what I feel is an under the radar situation in the worlds fastest game: a rash of injuries to stars and grinders alike.  As you can see from the photo, Bianca is concerned and rightly so because it seems like it is occurring nightly.

Let me toss out a few big names and see what youse think: Jonathan Toews and Corey Crawford from the Hawks, Johnny Hockey of the Calgary Flames, Steven Stamkos and Ryan Callahan of the Bolts, Tomas Hertl of the Sharks.  How about Jonathan Quick of the Kings and Patrick Sharp from the Dallas Stars?

I could go on with the names but I won’t, because I’d like to explore more deeply what the root cause might be for this disturbing trend.  It isn’t just one particular team or a particular injury. Almost every team has a star or significant player out for a long term severe injury and most have several players on long term IR.

I don’t see this reported in my extensive research of hockey publications today, I must be on the cutting edge of this trend.  Get it cutting?  Alexander Radulov of the Montreal Canadiens was injured in Friday’s Sharks/Habs game in San Jose by an errant stick in a scrum in front of the net. The blood was gushing from the cut above his eye and left a trail for about 50 feet until someone finally got him a towel.

Pre gusher.

He is described as “day to day”, but his injury is fairly common amongst those players that go to the dirty areas of the crease and score the greasy goals.  However, dislocated shoulders, torn ACLs, hip surgery, broken legs and hands are the type of injuries I’m talking about.  In todays new NHL, those at the top want to see the game get faster.  They want to see more scoring, they want the millennials to be titillated, the video to be gorier, and ultimately make more money.

Those at the top are Gary Bettman and the owners.  They removed the redline from the game, they removed clutch and grab, they allow blue paint play.  All these changes have led to more speed, but unfortunately not more scoring.  The average amount of goals per game for both teams is 5.3.  Roughly, an average score of 3-2, which doesn’t exactly seem like a lot of goals to this guy.

It’s my contention that all these rule changes to increase scoring have led to more injuries, across the board.  The mainly north/south play is in direct contrast to the style from 10 years ago where there were 3 zones and the puck could only be moved one zone at a time.  Now a d man can pass from behind his own goal line to the front of the far blue line.

This allows for and encourages more speed,  though not necessarily a better game and definitely not more scoring.  I know I sound like an old fogey or maybe that I’m pining for the old NHL.  A small part of me is but the main point is this: players are getting hurt more often and the game is not better IMHO, and scoring is not the only good part of our beloved game.

Bianca wants to nurse them back to health.